West Ham United – Hull City

1. Welcome one and all to a showdown between Premier League heavyweights West Ham and Hull City. Don't laugh, sometimes these games end up 5-5 you know.

2. West Ham: Green, Neill, Collins, Upson, Ilunga, Behrami, Parker, Collison, Noble, Di Michele and Cole. Subs from: Lastuvka, Boa Morte, Nsereko, Faubert, Tristan, Tomkins and Sears.

3. Hull: Duke, Ricketts, Turner, Zayatte, Dawson, Marney, Ashbee, Kilbane, Geovanni, Cousin and Manucho. Subs from: Myhill, Fagan, Garcia, Mendy, Halmosi, Folan and Bullard.

4. Hammers' £9m signing Savio Nsereko is on the bench while Hull's £5m purchase Jimmy Bullard is also named as a substitute.

5. 1'

   We begin...

6. 2'

   First break forward from th'ammers but it amounts to little. A riveting update I'm sure you'll agree.

7. 3'

   Both teams fizz the ball up to their target men (Cousin and Cole respectively) but the ball won't stick.

8. 5'

   My first impression is that the camera angle at Upton Park is a little too low. I'd like more elevation I must say.

9. 6'

   FIrst half chance. Noble slips it into Carlton Cole who should have done better. Instead of laying off or shooting, he let it go under his boot and out for a throw in.

10. 7'

    First goal of the evening comes at Eastlands, where Man City are one up on Newcastle. Wright-Phillips with it.

11. 8'

    Noble looks for Cole again but he is crowded out by Zayatte.

12. 10'

    Behrami works a shooting chance after nice play from Ilunga but he fires over the bar.

13. 11'

    Hull dink a long ball in the vague direction of Manucho (who looks like a bit of a unit I must say) but Upson wins the header.

14. 12'

    Cousin turns Collins well, and wins a free kick. Clever play. Chance for Geovanni to line one up.

15. 13'

    Geovanni fires it in low and Green is down to claim with the minimum of fuss.

16. 15'

    Lucas Neill crosses and as the ball ricochet's to the edge of the box Mark Noble's shot is deflected just wide.

17. 16'

    What an effort from Di Michele! He gets the corner short, curls one towards the top corner and it hits the inside of the post and bounces to safety. Great effort.

18. 18'

    Di Michele again runs at Hull's back line and causes panic, he goes down unnecessarily before Dawson turns behind for a corner. Then Collins gets a free header from it but puts it wide.

19. 19'

    For some reason, our gamecast decided to exclude this comment what I gone posted a mo ago: 'What an effort from Di Michele! He gets the corner short, curls one towards the top corner and it hits the inside of the post and bounces to safety. Great effort.'

20. 20'

    Matt Taylor has put Bolton in front against Blackburn.

21. 21'

    Penalty! That looked soft but Ricketts did charge into him. Replay shows Cole dived like a show pony.

22. 22'

    SAVED! Matt Duke saves Mark Noble's penalty!

23. 23'

    Well, justice served I think. That was never a pen and thankfully, West Ham didn't convert it.

24. 24'

    So, let's get up to speed on who the freak Matt Duke is. Well, this is his first Premier League start, he signed from Burton Albion in 2004 and he's just saved a penalty!

25. 26'

    West Ham may not have deserved the penalty, but they deserve to be in front. We've seen absolutely nothing from Hull as an attacking outfit yet.

26. 28'

    Oh my word. How embarrassing. Di Michele is clean through but somehow manages to shank his left foot shot so badly it ends up nearer the corner flag than the net. Astonishing.

27. 30'

    More positive attacking moves from the Hammers, as Ilunga comes down the wing to cross. Zayatte is in the way though.

28. 33'

    GOAL! Di Michele finally gets one!

29. 33'

    Well, he nearly scored a beauty, missed a sitter, then taps in at the far post after Duke saves Cole's curling effort.

30. 34'

    Liverpool are leading Wigan 1-0, Benayoun. And Bolton are 2-0 up at Blackburn. Oh dear Sam.

31. 35'

    First effort of note from Hull. An excellent cross from Cousin but Manucho's header is right at Green.

32. 36'

    Dean Marney is booked after felling Cole. Deserved.

33. 37'

    Good work from Cousin affords Geovanni a chance to cross but Green is out to claim.

34. 40'

    So nearly a classic goal! A cracking move involving Noble, a super turn from Di Michele, a ball wide from Cole, a cross from Behrami and a shot against the post from Collison. That would have been a beauty.

35. 41'

    Cousin manages to direct an effort on target after a long throw. Its all bits and scraps for Hull though.

36. 43'

    Cole bears down on Duke as the ball bounces in between the keeper and his centre-half but Duke hacks it clear in the end.

37. 44'

    Phil Brown does not look chuffed. A half-time rocket approaching for Hull's players methinks.

38. 45'

    Great double save from Duke! Cole goes clean through, Duke then parries the striker's shot but the ball rolls goalwards. Fear not though, for fearless Matt is up to palm it off the line.

39. 45'

    Half time and an excellent half from West Ham. They should be three up at least and have played some sparkling stuff. Hull look lifeless.

40. 46'

    We begin again...

41. 47'

    Hull chuck a Delap-style throw into the box and Cousin nods on target but its right at Green.

42. 49'

    Carlton Cole gets ideas way above his station as he takes one on the thigh and tries a volley from 35 yards. It trickles out for a goal kick.

43. 50'

    GOAL! Cole! Game over!

44. 50'

    Noble swings in a free kick, it comes out to Di Michele who smashes in a half volley - it hits the post and Cole taps into the net from six yards.

45. 51'

    Chance for an instant reposte as Manucho gets his bonce on an Ashbee cross but it sails wide.

46. 52'

    Bullard is on for Geovanni, and Manucho makes way for ... I'll tell you in a minute.

47. 55'

    Noble takes a corner and Cole swings a boot at it. The ball trickles just wide. It was West Ham's 19th attempt of the game. Already.

48. 57'

    A mountain of work to be done if Hull are to get any sniff of a point here...

49. 58'

    Right on cue is Jimmy Bullard, who has a pop from 30 yards and forces Green into a smart save.

50. 59'

    Nothing comes from the corner, but that was an excellent save from Green a moment ago.

51. 60'

    Man City 2-0 Newcastle. Bellamy. Had to be.

52. 62'

    Decent spell for Hull but no chances to speak of.

53. 63'

    Cole challenges Duke from a corner, but the 'keeper hangs on.

54. 65'

    Goals. Andy Carroll gives Newcastle a sniff at Man City, Blackburn pull a goal back against Bolton, Everton are one up against Arsenal and Chelsea are 2-0 up on Boro.

55. 67'

    Big news: Wigan equalise against Livepool! Mido scores from the spot on debut.

56. 69'

    Very little happening at Upton Park it has to be said. Bullard having an effect on the game, but unable to find the killer ball.

57. 70'

    Yet another chance for Cole, he's through again, buts inside Turner and has a pop. It hits the defender and loops just wide of the upright. Corner.

58. 71'

    Collison goes off, Faubert is on.

59. 73'

    A poor diagonal ball from Ricketts sails out of play. Hull running out of steam.

60. 74'

    Bernard Mendy is on for Dean Marney.

61. 75'

    Nice move again from West Ham, Noble releases Faubert but his cross for Cole is intercepted by Turner.

62. 77'

    West Ham win another corner as Steve Clarke and Gianfranco Zola share a joke on the bench.

63. 78'

    A decent ball in from Ashbee is met by Cousin but his header flies over the bar.

64. 79'

    More liquid football from West Ham, spreading Hull wide and Noble tries a delightful chip. Great save from Duke to tip over.

65. 80'

    Wigan and Liverpool have drawn 1-1 and Chelsea have won 2-0 against Boro so the Blues climb into second.

66. 82'

    Noble is down for treatment. Got a bump on his knee I think.

67. 83'

    Zola taking no risks with Noble - Boa Morte is on for him.

68. 84'

    Excellent save from Duke again, He's had a right game. Cole flicked off for Faubert and he lashed in a low shot but Duke was equal to it.

69. 85'

    Di Michele is coming off and new boy Savio comes on.

70. 86'

    Benni McCarthy makes it Blackburn 2-2 Bolton.

71. 87'

    Savio's first touch gets a big cheer.

72. 89'

    What a chance for Boa Morte, and what a rank effort on goal. Ten yards out with a clear sight of goal he shanks his shot well wide.

73. 90'

    Robin van Persie hits a wonderstrike as Arsenal level things up against Everton.

74. 91'

    Two corners in quick succession for Hull but well defended.

75. 92'

    Carlton Cole couldn't finish his dinner! He's had about seven chances tonight and spurns another great opportunity right at the end, scuffing a shot right at Duke. And that is that. All over. West Ham should have won 8-0. Athnakyou.

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